A lot of my friends are still or newly (post-divorce) single and they all seem to be having a ball. I’ve discovered there is a whole plethora of dating apps at one’s disposal and an equal number of networking and meet up events that singletons can attend. Every five minutes my friends seem to be getting ‘pinged’ by interested parties on these applications. And trust me, these guys aren’t all unattractive weirdos. Some of them look decidedly yummy and quite well accomplished. Today I spent a good hour swiping left/right/up/down on various dating apps on my friend’s behalf. I was absolutely mesmerised. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun! Not only that, my friends get to go out on exciting dates, get wined and dined and complimented. In contrast, I get a takeaway from the Old Git on a good night, and a grunt on a bad one.
Of course the downside for my friends is that they have to manage multiple dating profiles which can all get a bit confusing and exhausting apparently. They tell me text flirting with all of these hot guys is time consuming and tiring. Boo hoo, cry me a river. What’s there to moan about? Whilst they are out hitting the town I am sitting at home watching documentaries about serial killers. Whilst they are getting their hair and nails done in preparation for their dates, I am cleaning up potty accidents. And whilst they have plenty of exciting anecdotes to share about their hot dates I have tales of toilet training.
I think I may have a case of dating envy to be honest. Last month I had garden envy (my neighbours have an immaculate back yard which makes mine look rubbish) and this month it’s all about dating. I miss the days of dressing up for a date, going to cool restaurants and the butterflies in the stomach that accompany it. Nowadays, if I get any kind of feeling in the stomach it normally means indigestion. Unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) the Old Git and I don’t get to go out together as much as much as we used to due to two little blood sucking, sweat inducing, tear provoking human beings that currently control our lives. But back in the day we had a ball. Perhaps I need to channel this residual dating envy in a constructive way and make more of a concerted effort to organise date nights with the Old Git? Now there’s an idea.
The grass is indeed always greener. My single friends may think I live in a permanent state of marital bliss and I may think they have an exciting, sexy, party-going lifestyle. The reality is neither is true and each of us has joys and sorrows. The important thing is, I suppose, to appreciate what we do have in our lives and not yearn for things that we don’t. So, I’m going to pick myself off my reclining sofa, put the TV remote and Kit Kat to one side, and go and find the Old Git to give him an appreciative kiss [no tongues]. He may just keel over in shock.